As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life - so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
---- M. Cartmill

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
---- Doug Larson

Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.
---- Arnold Lobel

The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself.
---- Mark Helprin, Memoir from Antproof Case, 1995

Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in.
---- Leonardo DaVinci (1452-1519)

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
---- Albert Einstein

There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.
---- Pablo Picasso

Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man.
---- J. Robert Oppenheimer

Arguments over grammar and style are often as fierce as those over IBM versus Mac, and as fruitless as Coke versus Pepsi and boxers versus briefs.
---- Jack Lynch

To have another language is to possess a second soul.
---- Charlemagne

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
---- Terry Pratchett

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
---- H. G. Wells

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
---- John Ciardi

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
---- Author Unknown

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent.
---- Robert Copeland

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
---- Fred Allen

Technology will not replace teachers...teachers who use technology will
probably replace teachers who do not.
---- Ray Clifford

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
---- Kin Hubbard

it's probably not a good idea to underestimate my ability to make an ass out of myself—just when I seem to have it under control, I'll turn around and surprise you.
---- Tenser said the Tensor

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
---- Lily Tomlin

I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.
---- Albert Einstein

"It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'"
---- Sam Levenson

Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.
---- Edward R. Murrow

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork.
---- Edward Abbey

Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
---- Malcom Forbes