Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
---- Fred Allen

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
---- Evan Esar

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork.
---- Edward Abbey

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
---- Mitch Hedberg

There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.
---- Pablo Picasso

The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself.
---- Mark Helprin, Memoir from Antproof Case, 1995

Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?"
---- Kelvin Throop III

The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink.
---- George Orwell

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
---- Isaac Asimov

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent.
---- Robert Copeland

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
---- Doug Larson

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
---- Kin Hubbard

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
---- Lily Tomlin

Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
---- Malcom Forbes

Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in.
---- Leonardo DaVinci (1452-1519)

We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything.
---- Thomas A. Edison

Technology will not replace teachers...teachers who use technology will
probably replace teachers who do not.
---- Ray Clifford

Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence.
---- Abigail Adams (1744 - 1818)

The least of learning is done in the classrooms
---- Thomas Merton

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
---- Gail Godwin

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
---- Thomas A. Edison

No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness.
---- Sheik Abd-al-Kadir

Those who know nothing of foreign languages, knows nothing of their own.”
---- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe (1749 -1832)

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
---- Author Unknown

"It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'"
---- Sam Levenson